dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
