Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
