I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
