I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
