If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
