That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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