dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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