This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
