The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
