Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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