you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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