Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
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On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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