Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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