woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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