There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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