Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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