That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I looked at my own cervix.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Panties = found
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
