Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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