We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
