Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
