At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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