He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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