marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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