Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize