I got her a Nickelback box set.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize