very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
