There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
