the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
