The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
