Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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