You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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