I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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