very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
