i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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