I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
