I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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