We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
