Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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