whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cannot find my penis.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
