I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
