oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize