I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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