I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
