I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
