I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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