even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
