Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
