What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
soo... how was my night?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
