i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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