i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
