If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Randomize
