The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
