physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
