you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she told me i tasted like america
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
