What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
