Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
