When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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