This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
