i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
