My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
