Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
