Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
