at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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