Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
BRING THE BAGELS
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
