Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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