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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.

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• (707): View more from California

  Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol

  (540): View more from Virginia

  its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings

  (801): View more from Utah

  I think incapable of making pants work send help

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• (786): View more from Florida

  we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...

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