i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
