She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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