i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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