I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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