did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
