I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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