I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
