i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
