just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
