Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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