I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
